Measuring by Angela Law

Through out my life I held out hope
That someone could show me the way
But at every turn I have made
There appears to be a stumbling block that lay in front of me

One that says sorry
Your hope can not be founded
Within those that have not grounded
Because they can't even see there own way
As they walk around in their own maze

At last all hope is gone
And I feel a deep sense of loss
Over knowing that the answers could never be found
Among those I am or will be hanging around

It frightens me to the core
Knowing full well that I must implore
My own faculties to understand
The life that I am living by my very own hands

I am shaking deep inside me
I truly do not know how to handle this daunting task.
Wondering how can I ever effectively measure the life that I live

To run through life with no idea of how to gauge
The choices and action that I must take
It seems to enter the unknown in each and every moment
With no possible way to discern

That the actions and decisions made
Were the best for the circumstances given.
So that I would not feel guilty
For any expectations or feelings that were not consider or met

The feeling of utter responsibility for those around me
Has been a difficult task to say the least
Thinking that I could ever meet
Everyone's emotional or perceptional needs

Yet I can feel an undercurrent bringing me down
To a leveling playing ground
No more of trying to exist
For those who persist
In looking to others to reinforce their own emotional or perceptional needs

I can feel the release of heavy burdens being carried off
The freedom that is arising from no longer considering
Whether my actions would invoke a feeling of guilt
Worrying whether or not the needs of others are met
Through the simple words, gestures, and actions that were given.

To stay within my own
With no external burdens weighing me down
I operate from that which is my foundation
This is bringing true elations to my heart
Now my heart can finally can soar
With its own peaceful roar