On The Edge by Angela Law

You Look
You stand
And you wonder

How do I do it?
How do I let go?
And allow what is below
To rise above

To give voice
To something different
To something new
To something exciting
To something that is blissful

No matter if it causes pain
You look and Wonder
How it is you created so much pain with such zeal
Realizing reality doesn't do that to you

But you are the one
The one that is the master of your Guilt
The master of your Fear
The master of your Frustration
The master of all your self imposed weaknesses.

You look down and you just see the emptiness that would lie ahead
That would allow the burdens to give way
To the feeling of complete and utter freedom.

Freedom from the heavy morality in which you impose on yourself everyday
Freedom from the societal constraints that have been dictated to you
Freedom from the very bonds and chains you have created from your own little rule book
The very things that make up your own self imposed realty

You wonder how to release those shackles.
Does it take an act?
Does it take an understanding?
Does it take a feeling?

Then you wonder if there is anything
You as a little peon of a human can do?
Is it a process that will just unfold onto itself?
Like getting on a rollercoaster ride.

You get on the ride and something else guides
Where you go
How you go
And to what degree it shall be

Is life the same as a roller coaster, you wonder?
As you stand at the cliff
Wondering if all this thinking is for not
Is it just another self imposed shackle you have created?

So you don't see the simple peace.
So you don't simply allow yourself to be
Always journeying
Trying to find
Just that one
That one very thing that will
Allow you to rest.

Would you even recognize it?
When it came into your life.
Or would you just pass it up?
Like so many different things

Saying this is not for me
Because it doesn't meet my idea of what it is suppose to be.
You stand on the edge

Saying the time has come
And I have got to go
I wish you all well on your own leap of faith
But for now I shall tempt my own fate

And see were it leads
You place one foot in front of you
In the emptiness called the air around us
Knowing that it has no firm footing on the ground you once knew

As you shift
You feel your self fall
Into the sky above the ground
Feeling the emptiness all around

It reminds you that there are no longer any imposing shackles
To late you realize
You are already committed
Committed to seeing this ride through

The utter terror of falling that you have embraced
All of a sudden is erased
Time in itself is transposed to just that moment
As you race through the night air

All of a sudden you know it is a matter of seconds
Seconds, until you truly will no longer exist
Then suddenly everything becomes clear about that which you resist

The burdens in themselves are now laid to rest
Before you take your final rest
And you simply enjoy the moment in the air
Feeling beauty all around
As love and light finally abounds
Into your very vessel

Realizing that this particular moment
Is the one you been searching for
And all it took was your death.
Allowing your self to walk off the edge
With no regrets about the choice you made.

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Authors Comments

Many people who have read this poem thought I am talking about suicide.  And in a very deep sense I am.  Whether it is literal or physical, often times when we are required or desired to make changes to ourselves it can often feel as part of ourself is dying while a new unknown side is being born.

I hope